May 22, 2011

May, 22 2011

It just seems that things were so much simpler when I was a young boy. Especially the summer time. I remember certain things back then and every now and then I get a feeling, a certain smell, or vision that takes me back to those golden days of my youth. The days when I didn’t have a care in the world seem a million miles away at times. I wish I could have bottled those feelings I had back then. I would be a much richer man today. Or would I?

Those feelings are still inside of me. Those sunny summer days popping dandelion tops while walking through the fields in front of my house are still with me. Riding my bike through   Daigle’s potato fields and down to the river to go swimming. Doing back flips off of the rope that swung out over the river. I remember everyone telling me that my older brother was the one that put the rope way up in that tree. I was awestruck at the thought. I remember trying to run as fast as my sister with my new Red Ball Jets sneakers. I know now that the reason I could not was because she had PF Flyers on. They were a much more superior sneaker and achieved warp speed quicker than mine. I remember swinging on the rope that my older brother once again put way up in the tree in front of our house. Swinging around in a circle for what seemed like hours on end. I am still dizzy to this day.

I remember playing baseball, baseball, and then playing some more baseball. Once in a while you could also find me outside playing baseball. My left hand smelled like a baseball glove most of the summer.

These feelings are still with me, and they will be with me for the rest of my life.

I remember knowing and feeling that whatever we did, we did it as a family. Everything just seemed so much fuller and richer knowing that I was part of such a wonderful thing. I don’t see how most of these memories would be possible without my family. That’s where the real sense of security came from.

It’s funny how certain things can trigger memories from way back then. A certain smell. Or a word, or an event. I have one certain memory of when I was roughly 6 or 7 in the living room of our home in Little Falls. It was just after dark. The day had been a busy day and I was sitting in front of the large window. The cool summer night air was coming in through the window. I don’t know if it was due to a certain smell in the air or just a cumulative feeling from the days events, but as the breeze washed over me I was instantly aware of just how safe and secure and content I felt. I have never had such a total feeling of satisfaction in my life. It seemed at that moment in time that my life had a purpose and meaning and direction that I think I have been chasing ever since. I have probably never ever since then felt a sense of security as I did at that moment in my life.

I  think sometimes that I have spent a lot of my life searching for those feelings that enveloped my childhood.

The summers used to go by so slowly back then, but just as soon as the summer started, it seemed like I was getting ready for the school bus again. Long summer days with no end in sight. Those are the days I remember well. There was always somewhere to be. Someone to be with. Something to do.

I don’t remember the bugs though. What’s up with the bugs now-a-days? I hate bugs. Especially the little minges, or no-see-ems.

Sorry, I got side tracked a bit.

Now where was I? Oh yes..

It seemed that I always had something wonderful to do in the summer. It was just so wicked fun. I loved every part of it. From the baseball games, to going to Pine Point, to the vacation trips down east, to taking a ride up to North Gorham and jumping off the wall into the lake. Did I mention the baseball games? It was all pure magic somehow, and I never wanted it to end.

I tried to give my son a taste of what I had as a child. We managed to keep him busy. His mum was the architect of so many of our wonderful times when he was young. I don’t know but I probably had just as good a time as he did. Maybe even more?

So many times when he was growing up I had those special feelings of my childhood enter my thoughts again. With the same warm glow, these chunks of my childhood flooded me with all of the same wonder that I felt from my own way back machine.

I am sure that we all have these special moments in our lives where we are transported back in time to our youth. It is these times that make me feel alive and wanting more of this wonderful stuff that we call life.

Well I am a few months older now. I am the perpetual grey haired billy goat, and my wife is managing to live with a perpetual grey haired billy goat.

We find ourselves with an incredible opportunity. We get to relive our childhood once again through the eyes of our grandson Jack.

It is such a wonderful gift to be able to do this one more time. One more childhood full of summers. One more childhood full of ice cream, and beaches, and swings, and walks on the ocean shores. One more childhood to take me back to my own childhood. One more chance to remember.

The perspective of a child is a simple one. It is full of wonder and amazement and passion and innocence and everything else that makes it one of the miracles that spin around the sun. I cherish my childhood and the family that came with it. Such a complete package there never was.

From generation to generation, this innocence will continue. It will live on and it will live forever in the hearts of the children. It will always live in my heart as well.

Well as always, my hands are cramping and I need a cookie.

Until we meet again.